I am someone who prays. My most frequent prayer is, “ThankyouThankyouThankyou,” but I pray for and about nearly everything. Over the past few months, I have been so humbled by the levels of my own happiness. I am a pretty happy person, but I don’t know if I have ever been this happy. This is notable because everything I am most grateful for, at some point in my life was exactly what I did NOT want.
To me this is the way that prayer has gone (so far):
- I pray for things and they happen. Sometimes this is a gift and sometimes the gift is that I learn that I really have no idea what is best for myself and should maybe not pray so hard.
- I pray for things and they don’t happen. I learn a lot about my mind when this happens. Letting go is not a one time deal. It sometimes has to happen every other second. I also inevitably later find myself singing that song, “Sometimes I Thank God For Unanswered Prayers,” when something else happens that wouldn’t have had I received what I originally wanted.
- I pray to not have things and then I get them. This has undoubtedly been my biggest source of blessing. Every single thing that has created the life I am blessed to celebrate and live today was at one point something I didn’t want. Ex: living in NJ, living in NJ with my family (Sorry-love you guys!), teaching yoga (standing up in front of people was my personal nightmare), owning a yoga studio (so much responsibility and I wanted to be free to travel and have no possessions!) Haha. How I have changed…..
- Mostly I pray for whatever is in the Highest good and in line with the reason I was created and am here in the first place. I do not know a lot about this which is why I pray about it. If I did not pray this way, I would probably just have stayed in Hawaii and been warm, swimming, and eating tropical fruit every day because…. are you really asking why? The problem was that since I was 4 I have prayed to be used. It turns out that when you pray to be a part of something bigger than you, you get nagging feelings when you are not living toward a bigger purpose-even if you aren’t sure what that is yet. Once you show the Divine that you are willing to move and be uncomfortable, you get much clearer answers (even if you are a stubborn cow).
So, what I would like to say is, “ThankyouThankyouThankyou,” to you for reading this, to all of the people who I am blessed to see and practice with everyday and for Divine Will for giving me so many things I wanted and never wanted. If you are reading this I hope that you also have a life that you are humbled to live and a way to practice gratitude and ask for guidance. Sometimes it appears to be taking you away from paradise, but really it is just creating you a new one that feeds your heart and helps you serve.*
If you are interested in this topic please read Tosha Silver‘s “Outrageous Openness” followed immediately by “Change Me Prayers.” She is brilliant and funny and has the loveliest way of expressing truth and cutting through crap-which I believe I can safely say-we could all use a lot more of.
*Also, please note that this does not mean that everything is always sunshine. There are plenty of times when I am a pining little crab and then I have to pray even more.